Yes, People Really Can Change!
View PDF | Print View
by: Guest
Total views: 12
Word Count: 583
It is a fact that people can change. It is also a fact that nobody can make a person change, you have to want it. So why do people in relationships try to make the other person change?
adult shopping | waterproof vibrators | tongue vibrators
There is one stereotype that is nothing but that, as there are no documented statistics or scientific work to prove it: women think they can make men change. I say it is a stereotype because it applies to other way around as well, men think that they can make women change. The areas where we want the other person might differ, but the fact is if we thought we had a good shot, we would try to make other people in general change certain things that we are passionate about.
Sticking to love relationships, you have to wonder why people do this. If you fell in love with that special person, how was that possible when there was something that was such a deal breaker? Otherwise, if it is not really that important a subject, why bother trying to make the other person change?
I have heard a couple of reasons. One is that they are trying to change a bad habit. Habits are hard to break. If you have been peeing and leaving the seat up for over 20 years, chances are you are not going to change because somebody else thinks it is a bad habit. Especially when that person who wants you to change has the bad habit of biting her nails, for example. Granted, some habits are harder than others to change but the question we have to ask ourselves is this: is this worth ruining my relationship for? If the answer is yes, perhaps you should not even try to change the person.
Another reason is that it is for the person's best sake. I want the person to quit smoking; it is a habit, yes, but also one that will make that person that I love sick eventually. Even in that scenario, unless we brought this up several times while dating, it is going to come off in a bad way if you bring it up later. So you care now but you did not before, I could just have died and you would simply have wished me good riddance. People will react badly when asked all of a sudden to change something that was not an issue before, even if it is for their own sake.
Finally, there is what actually turns out to be the simple truth in most cases: we just would like the other person to do things differently. It was never brought up before because we were in the conquering stage, we wanted things to be perfect, we had no power yet. The love arena is perhaps the only one where conquering does not mean you have power over the other the other party. In this field both parties think they have won, so nobody really has an advantage.
No matter the reason, if you have ever tried to change something in your life, no matter how small, you know the work it takes and what helped you take the first step. It will hardly ever be because of anybody other than yourself. As human beings it is a simple fact that we should all accept and simply aspire to influence people through our actions. That is the extent our involvement will ever be with another person's changes in lifestyle or views.
About the Author
Rating: Not yet rated